I’m in the market for a new coffee machine.  Let me say at the outset: I’m not getting a Keurig. Keurig coffee tastes terrible and I’m just not doing it.

I purchased my current coffee maker several months after moving into my apartment, having finally grown tired of doing pour over coffee. All I was after was a small pot, it’s just me here I don’t need much.  I also really wanted to get one of those insulated pots.  That was my “nice to have” feature.  And I didn’t want to spend a lot of money.

I eventually found a Mr. Coffee maker that had the steel pot I thought I was looking for.  Upon opening it I was immediately disappointed as the pot was merely steel and not insulated.  Having failed for quite a few weeks to successfully find a coffee pot that fit my requirements I accepted the failure and moved on with my life.

This coffee pot, it turns out, is pretty gosh darn terrible.  The heating element turns off after about half an hour (I’ve never bothered to time it).  Additionally, I’ve had to get into the habit of pouring the coffee over the sink because no matter the angle of the spout coffee runs down the side of the pot spilling everywhere.  My mom’s coffee pot has the exact same problem.  You’d think this would be one of the key requirements of the pot itself: Don’t spill.  And yet…

During my quest for a coffee maker I was astounded at the price of them.  Years of shopping at Target have conditioned me to not purchase any kitchen appliance over $50.  And it’s not like my parents had to do this all that much either.  They still use a waffle maker from 1982 that still works.  Their plastic spatula, which they’ve owned longer than I have been alive, didn’t die until someone mistook it for a high temperature silicone and tried to scramble eggs.

No, I don’t want to talk about who that was, I don’t see the point in it.

Their pans.  Oh my God.  Their pots and pans were gifted to them for their wedding.  I am literally unable to fathom how they are still in service and make such good food.  These days if you go and try to buy a 12 inch pan you’re going to be inundated with features: non stick surface, 1/8th inch steel plate, copper, oven safe, pre-seasoned.

My dad has one 12 inch stainless steel pan that he will use for everything and it will come out better than anything I can cook.  Hot dogs?  The Pan.  Steak? The Pan.  Grilled cheese?  The Pan.  I can’t cook more than three pieces of bacon simultaneously.  My dad will perfectly cook bacon, hash browns, and three styles of eggs in the morning using nothing but The Pan and a single fork.

In the mean time I’m spending hours traveling from store to store, inspecting each coffee maker in excruciating detail and hoping I can get out of this ordeal before February and for under $100.

This is why I can’t afford a house.

Post Script
I don't see the blogging about kitchen stuff ending.